The Biggest Mistake People Make When Deciding To Euthanize Their Pet (And How To Avoid It)

A 3-step objective framework to help you know when it’s time to say goodbye

One of the questions I get asked most frequently as a veterinarian is, how will I know when it’s time to say goodbye?

Deciding when to euthanize your pet is one of the hardest decisions you’ll ever have to make. There are some cases when you know for certain that it’s the right decision. But equally, if not more often, the picture won’t be as obvious to you.

This can be especially difficult in cases where you don’t have all the answers — when no definitive diagnosis has been made and the future is uncertain, or when things acutely go south and you have to make decisions quickly.

If you’ve never had to euthanize a pet before, it’s hard to know what to expect in those last days and to know when it’s really time.

Unfortunately, there is one mistake I see very commonly among families grappling with this decision.

The biggest mistake owners make when deciding to put their pet to sleep is waiting too long.

This is especially common among families who are experiencing a pet’s decline or terminal illness for the first time.

They generally wait until the very end to make the difficult decision to euthanize, fearful of euthanizing their pet too soon and giving up without a good fight. But afterwards, these families always regret waiting too long.

They reflect back on the last days (or even months), and feel guilty for putting their pet through numerous veterinary trips or medical procedures that didn’t improve their pet’s quality of life. The next time they see one of their pets decline, they recognize the signs and are more likely to make the decision at the beginning of the decline rather than at the very end.

The right we have to euthanize in veterinary medicine is a privilege.

Broken down, the term euthanasia literally means “good death” and that’s exactly what it should be. The goal isn’t to put an end to suffering, but to PREVENT suffering as much as we can. To help prevent suffering and guide you through this difficult decision, I’ve created a 3-step framework that will minimize subjectivity and provide you with better clarity when the time comes.

If you use this guide, you’ll be more confident in your decision and have peace of mind knowing that your pet didn’t experience the unnecessary suffering that comes with waiting too long to say goodbye.

Here's what you need to do:

[Step 1] Assess your pet's quality of life.

This is the most important step.

Consider your pet’s ability to enjoy daily activities and interact with you, other pets, and members of the family. Are they eating, drinking, and voiding normally or have they lost control of those bodily functions? Do they seem anxious, confused or in pain? Are they able to move around comfortably?

Pro tip:

Make a list of their 5 favorite activities — the things that really make your pet who they are.

Maybe they like to sit by the window and sunbathe. Maybe they go beserk and charge at the front door when the mailman comes. Maybe they love to eat cheese. Whatever five things that most strongly come to mind when you think about your pet, who they are, and what they love. Once your pet can no longer do 3/5 of these things, their quality of life has objectively diminished.

If I were to make this list for my dog right now, it would look like this:

5 things that make Luca, Luca

1. Playing fetch

2. Terrorizing birds: chasing pigeons down the street and ducks into water

3. Launching at cats sitting in ground floor apartment windows

4. Greeting me with stuffed animals whenever I arrive home

5. Running to the kitchen every time I open the fridge and watching me when I eat

If Luca wasn’t doing any ONE of these things, I would know something was up. If he wasn’t doing 3 of them… he just wouldn’t be him anymore.

[Step 2] Educate yourself & consult with your veterinarian.

Discuss your pet's condition, prognosis, and treatment options openly.

Learn about the disease process, your pet’s chances of recovering, and try to get a sense for what their life will look like down the line if they don’t. Make sure you understand — to the best of your ability — how your pet feels both physically and emotionally. What will their last days look like? What kind of stress or anxiety might they be experiencing in association with their disease?

If you don’t feel like you have a solid understanding, there’s nothing wrong in seeking a second opinion. Even if they tell you the same thing, sometimes having someone tell you the same thing in a different way makes all the difference.

[Step 3] Assess your own well-being and capacity to provide care.

It’s important to reflect and be honest with yourself here.

Consider your own physical and mental health, lifestyle, financial resources, and the impact on your family. Is your family able to take this on right now? Do you have the time and money to ensure your pet receives the level of care that they need to be happy and comfortable in their current condition?

Caregiver’s burden can be significant, and if caring for your pet becomes overwhelming to the point where your own health is affected, it may be a sign that it's time to let go.

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Let me share a story: I once had a feline patient that was a newly diagnosed diabetic which was hospitalized for a severe complication of diabetes (diabetic ketoacidosis - IYKYK). These patients are typically very unstable, requiring round-the-clock bloodwork and constant treatment changes, and often spend multiple days (even weeks) in the ICU (you can imagine the costs). If we were able to cure the cat of this complication and send her home, she still wouldn’t have been cured of her primary disease (diabetes), requiring regular blood sugar and urine monitoring, insulin injections, and diet modifications at home. The owner was a single man who worked a full time job, which he wasn’t able to do from home, and traveled often for work. He knew he didn’t have the capacity to care for a diabetic cat at home, so he made the difficult decision to let her go. It was the right one.

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In the midst of emotional turmoil, this framework provides clarity because:

• It offers an objective assessment of your pet's current physical and mental health state, providing more clarity on the quality of their life and helping you make decisions based on their best interests rather than solely based on emotion.

• It ensures you are accurately informed and have professional insight and guidance in the decision making process. This will help you avoid the mistake of solely relying on your own emotions or the opinions of others without professional input.

• Evaluating your own capacity for care acknowledges the importance of your well-being in providing the best possible life for your pet in their final days, preventing caregiver burnout, and ensuring a compassionate outcome for everyone.

Using this simple framework can help you navigate the difficult decision of saying goodbye to your pet with clarity and peace of mind.

By prioritizing your pet's quality of life, educating yourself, and considering your own capacity for care, you can make the informed decision to end their suffering before it starts.

Let’s try to make the end of their life as good as the rest of it was.

I think they deserve that.

Big hugs,

Dr. Sami

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