Navigating Pet Euthanasia During Pregnancy: Understanding the Emotional and Physiological Challenges

How do you let one baby go while planning to welcome another?

“She’ll never euthanize.”

My attending clinician shook her head as she looked down at my dying patient, and wished me luck before walking back to her computer to finish her notes.

She seemed to know something that I didn’t yet, but would come to see on my own through years of practice — how difficult it can be to say goodbye to a pet during pregnancy.

Your pet has been beside you as you reached milestone after milestone in your life, and you thought this one would be no different. You imagined the moment when you would introduce your baby to your pet for the first time, your pet sitting beside you at all hours of the night as you tried to keep up with the breastfeeding schedule, and laughed to yourself about all the trouble they would get into together down the line. But now, the picture looks a bit different.

Deciding when to let your pet go is the most difficult decision you’ll ever have to make. As if it wasn’t difficult enough, the mental, emotional, and physiological changes that take place during pregnancy make this decision ever-more complicated.

This post aims to explore some of these changes and to provide support and guidance for pregnant pet owners grappling with the decision of pet euthanasia.

Pregnancy is a period of profound hormonal and physiological changes, which can significantly impact mood, emotional stability, and decisive ability.

Some women are affected more than others, and women can be variably affected across different pregnancies.

During pregnancy, levels of estrogen and progesterone rise sharply. Because of their structure, these hormones readily cross the blood-brain barrier and can bind to receptors in different areas of the brain, enhancing brain activity.

One area of the brain that contains a particularly high concentration of these hormonal receptors is the limbic system.

The limbic system is effectively your emotional nervous system — the part of your brain responsible for your behavioral and emotional responses, especially as they pertain to the basic elements of human survival — fight or flight responses, reproduction, feeding, and caring for our young.

As levels of estrogen and progesterone continue to rise, you may experience heightened anxiety, emotional reactivity, and sensitivity, which can make decisions like euthanizing a pet feel even more overwhelming.

You trust your vet and maybe deep down you also know that it’s time, but it’s not possible to use your emotional brain and your logical brain simultaneously, and evolution has your emotional brain in overdrive.

Another hormone and neurotransmitter at play here is oxytocin.

Often dubbed the "love hormone," oxytocin levels also rise during pregnancy. While it generally promotes feelings of bonding and well-being, it can exacerbate feelings of grief and loss, especially if you have to make the decision to let go yourself.

Beyond hormonal changes, we also know that pregnancy physically alters brain structure.

These changes, while helping to prepare for motherhood, can complicate decision-making processes, alter stress responses, and cloud judgement, leading to increased anxiety and indecision, especially in emotionally charged situations like the illness or loss of a pet.

Often, I find that pregnant women facing the decision of pet euthanasia share a similar internal dialogue:

• They feel guilty because they’ve been focused on preparing for the baby’s arrival and haven’t been giving their pet the usual amount of attention.

• They feel ashamed, like they ‘should have’ noticed something was off or acted sooner.

• They fear that there must be something else they can still do, and that they’ll regret making the decision to euthanize.

These feelings are normal. But you have to give yourself some grace here. You love your fur baby and you’re doing the best you can. Everybody can see that, and your pet knows it, too.

But there comes a day when the best thing you can do for your pet is to let them go.

Be honest with yourself about how your pregnancy may be complicating your decision to euthanize your pet, and know that you’re not in this alone:

Communicate openly with your partner, other family members, and friends.

It’s extremely important that you involve your other loved ones in the process and are vulnerable in sharing your emotional experience so they know how to best support you.

Reach out to your therapist or a trusted healthcare provider to let them know that you’re dealing with end-of-life decisions for your pet.

They can offer advice on managing emotional health and stress during pregnancy, help you cope with your decision, and give you tools for managing your grief.

Take your vet’s advice to heart.

No one loves your pet more than you, but your vet is a close second. They’re always going to have your pet’s best interest in mind. They can provide clarity surrounding your pet’s condition, prognosis, and quality of life, helping to frame the decision within a clear medical context.

If you’re still unsure or don’t feel aligned, seek a second opinion. There’s nothing wrong with that. But if you’re going to get a second opinion, try to do it quickly — within the next day or so.

Chances are, if your vet recommended euthanasia, your pet is already suffering. And we want to prevent that as much as possible.

Join pet loss support groups.

Maybe you have a friend or acquaintance that was recently in your position who care share their experience and offer support. But if no one in your inner circle can relate to your experience, there are a number of counseling or support groups that can offer a space to share your feelings with others who understand the specific grief of losing a pet.

One more thing to prepare for.

Preparing for euthanasia involves both logistical and emotional preparations.

Sometimes, the time we have to prepare is very limited. But if you’re fortunate to have the time to prepare, it's helpful to know exactly what to expect during the procedure and to have a plan for a peaceful goodbye, which can help provide you with some closure and a sense of peace.

A few things to consider:

• How will you spend your last day together?

• Which vet will perform the procedure and where would your pet be most comfortable / prefer to be?

• Who would you like to be present for the procedure?

• Is there a piece of your pet you would like to hold onto? Perhaps a tuft of fur? A paw print on paper or imprinted into a piece of clay? Maybe just their collar?

• What will you do with your pet’s remains? Do you have the space for a burial or would you prefer to cremate? If you choose cremation, will you elect for a private cremation so you can hang onto the ashes or spread them in your pet’s favorite place? Make sure you have an appointment set with the crematorium in advance if you choose to euthanize your pet at home.

The grief of pet loss can be intense, and the hormonal milieu of pregnancy can only amplify these feelings.

Make sure to honor these feelings in a healthy way and to prioritize your health and healing above all else.

With a baby on the way, you have a ton on your mind and a seemingly endless list of things to get done. But the best thing you can do for your baby right now is to take care of yourself. Everything else can wait.

Here for you,

Dr. Sami

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